Well, the nerd wife is back and better than ever! This week she sat down and watched the new version of Robocop. Gotta say, it took some doing getting her to actually pay attention. Well if you read last week’s you know how this works. We have the always lovely nerd wife sit and watch a movie and then write us a “review” on it. Some times she remember and sometimes she doesn’t, but either way, it’s always a laugh. So enjoy! Oh, spoilers!…kinda
Let’s just start out with I didn’t really watch the original so I don’t have much to compare to. So this review is solely based on this one. I was extremely bored through the whole thing, I didn’t like it. I felt it was slow, there weren’t that many action scenes and it was pretty predictable. Not to mention the movie was PG 13. You have this movie about a super cop with super strength and agility and not once did they utilize this fact in the movie. Oh and Samuel L. Jackson is in the movie and everyone knows him for his cussing in his movies… I mean have you seen Django, snakes on a plane and pulp fiction? He finally let loose at the end of the movie and they bleeped it all. Granted he was on a TV show so they bleeped it for that but still, he says some of the best shit. Anyway………. Here’s what I remember:
The main character….um, well his name is… Alex M-something (Murphy, not sure she’ll ever actually remember a name haha) is a cop he and his partner are under cover on a sting operation trying to buy black market guns and this (as in most cop movies) goes bad and gets his partner shot. He doesn’t die but is pretty seriously injured. (Some stuff happens that I don’t remember and a bit of time passes and my memory turns back on now) Alex walks into his home and is greeted by his wife and son. It’s late so he sees his son off to bed and proceeds to take his wife upstairs to get their sexy on when his car alarm goes off. He stops what he’s doing (that sure sucks!) and goes to check it out but little does he know someone (someone from the gang that he did the sting on) has attached a bomb to his car to finish the job.
Next thing he knows he wakes up in some metal suit.
Oh well I guess I should explain the beginning part of the movie, which might help… All over the world the governments are utilizing robots to keep crime down and not harm any of their own people. They are trying to bring this technology to the US but the people are reluctant because obviously robots don’t have feelings and if they cannot value human life then how can they take one? So the scientists behind this company (Can’t remember the actual name but its abbreviation is OCP I think)(omnicorp) decide that they can put a man inside the machine. So here we are again, Next thing Alex knows is he wakes up in some metal suit. Obviously he doesn’t understand why he’s there or what this is on his body so the doctor explains when the car exploded it took his legs and most his arms, the only thing he was left with was most his cranial structure, a hand and his lungs. He had extensive damage to his brain so even most of his brain was not his. Just as you would expect he lashes out and tries to run away, he said he would rather be dead… to just tell his family he didn’t survive the procedure and because he is in the suit they were able to shut it down and bring him back in. Yata Yata… he starts working with them and they let him see his family again after 4 months. This makes him too emotional so they try to take out some of the human qualities by taking down the amount of dopamine in his system and make it to where when his helmet is down the robot is in control, when it is up he is in control. They uploaded all the criminal files from the city and on the first day of the public debut he spots a wanted murderer and kills him in front of everyone including his son. (My attention was in and out at this point. Some time passes…) He starts tracking down the gang that tried to kill him and his partner… (Okay I guess a lot of time passed) He starts overriding the system and has been watching his wife and kid from a distance (surprise again, the human brain taking over the programing. It is quite an amazing organ anyway) He uncovers this whole operation where even some of the cops are in on and because his main purpose was to track down criminals his system was not prepared for this. His wife has been pressing to see him for some time now and shows up at the facility he has been staying. They tell her that the human part of his brain has died and only the programing remains and he has lost it and he has been killing innocent people. They take her to the roof to where a helicopter is going to take them out and who shows up? Mr. Robo-dude and he is pissed. He tells his family to step away from the bad guy and tries to arrest him but they put in a failsafe that would not allow him to harm the……..red something. (I guess it’s like being part of the FBI or something, they just have these red bands on their wrists.) The bad cop guy asks what he’s going to do about it because it’s not like he can shoot him or anything. He says even if I take this gun and point it at your family there is nothing you can do (paraphrasing here, work with me.) and he lifts his gun. The guy is not too confident that his claims of his inability to override this decision so he points his gun back at Alex and shoots. Alex also gets a shot off (Gasp! Who saw this coming? Surely no one…. Right?) and guess who the only one dead is. Yep, the bad guy. Very anticlimactic. Just bam bam and you’re done? No epic fight or anything? Borring. So yeah that’s about it.
So my opinion is don’t watch it. If you must, don’t waste your money in a theater. Get a bootleg copy or hell just get one from red box… it’s only a dollar.
I rate this movie at like 2 out of 10. I’d probably watch it if I were stuck in the hospital and they only had one movie channel.
(Note: I could correct a ton of things in this movie to make it more understandable for you, the reader… but come on. If she got one thing right it was the rating! I saw the original and this movie blows… don’t bother. If you want to see a Robocop moive, go rent the original!)